» Raising a resilient little person... This is a complex and wonderful question. To start we should begin with the definition of resilience ‘the capacity to recover or bounce back from difficulties’. What we all want children to have. There are many building blocks that can support this developing and understanding these help you guide your child to becoming resilient. Firstly, as always, we always need to have forefront in our mind, our child’s developmental capacity and the child’s developing attachment style.
Some of our everyday parent-child interactions, practices and habits can help or hinder building our resilience in our little ones. And something that can be very helpful to become comfortable with is the idea that allowing our little people to stumble is not a terrible thing... as long as we are there if they need us and as long as we are their greatest support when they get back up we can help to build some wonderful foundations for learning grit and resilience. An example of some resilience building activities for very little people can be, where we start to notice that some everyday moments might be causing our children to stumble and we allow this, and we sit with that uncomfortable feeling of our child struggling and with us on the sidelines as an available empathetic presence we start to say ‘You’re doing a great job, keep going, one more block and if the tower falls don’t you worry we’ll just build it right back up’ and we are their to validate the frustration, the anger or the sadness as a supporter. Then once that can be accomplished and they start to build the tower right back up, reduce your involvement, next time give just a nod of encouragement and when the tower falls again a smile and a ‘what do we do now?’ ever so gently you can apply this to many different daily moments guiding and allowing moments of frustration, failure and falls and all the meantime being there biggest supporter who helps them, just enough so they can learn that failure happens, it’s a wonderful thing because you just take a breather, dust yourself, seek the comfort you need and then pop up and start again.